"100 Reasons I Chose to Live"

 

You Are Already That

The First of 100 Reasons I Chose to Live

There are seasons in life that cannot be described through medical reports, prescriptions, or diagnoses. They are lived silently, deep within the folds of the heart, where pain becomes a constant companion and hope appears distant.

The past few months have been one such season for me.

Three months before surgery and the period that followed tested me in ways I had never imagined. Physical pain became a daily reality. Every movement carried discomfort. Every day demanded energy that I often did not have. 

The body, which had faithfully carried me through decades of service, suddenly demanded my complete attention.

Yet the physical pain was only one part of the story.

There was emotional pain.

There was the exhaustion of carrying responsibilities when the body wanted rest.

There were moments of uncertainty, fear, and vulnerability.

There were silent battles that few people could see.

There were expectations to meet, people to support, decisions to make, and commitments to honour. As the founder of Asha the Hope, I could not simply disappear into my pain. Sessions had to be conducted. Students needed guidance. Individuals continued to seek support and healing.

Life did not pause because I was hurting.

And somewhere in the middle of all this existed the invisible struggles that many people know but rarely speak about openly—family dynamics, relationships, emotional disappointments, unspoken grief, silent sacrifices, loneliness amidst people, and the burden of remaining strong when everyone assumes you are.

Stress became a silent visitor.

Fatigue became familiar.

The mind frequently asked questions that had no immediate answers.

Yet something remarkable happened during this period.

I did not find strength in motivational quotes.

I did not find it in positive thinking.

I found it in the teachings of Adi Shankaracharya.

Slowly.

Silently.

Patiently.

His teachings did not remove my pain.

They changed my relationship with it.

Whenever I felt myself shrinking under the weight of circumstances, Advaita Vedanta reminded me that I was not the circumstances.

Whenever fear arose, it reminded me that fear belonged to the mind, not to the Self.

Whenever the body suffered, it reminded me that I was experiencing the body, but I was not merely the body.

Whenever emotions became overwhelming, it reminded me that emotions were waves, and I was the ocean that witnessed them.

These teachings did not make me passive.

They made me present.

They helped me show up for every responsibility that still needed me.

They helped me conduct power-packed sessions when my personal challenges could easily have become excuses.

They helped me smile when the heart was heavy.

They helped me continue serving while healing.

Most importantly, they helped me rediscover life.

During this journey, I began maintaining notes—not of achievements, but of reasons.

Reasons to continue.

Reasons to heal.

Reasons to grow.

Reasons to serve.

Reasons to love.

Reasons to wake up the next morning.

What started as a simple exercise gradually became profound.

I discovered one hundred reasons to live.

Not grand reasons.

Not philosophical theories.

Simple, powerful truths that reminded me why life is worth embracing despite its uncertainties.

Today, I begin sharing them.

One at a time.

The first realization that emerged from this journey was a teaching that Adi Shankaracharya had gifted humanity centuries ago.

"You Are Already That."

For most of my life, like many others, I believed I was moving towards completeness.

Towards healing.

Towards peace.

Towards fulfilment.

Towards becoming something greater.

But Advaita asks a revolutionary question:

"What if you are not becoming? What if you are remembering?"

What if the peace you seek is already within you?

What if the strength you admire in others already exists within you?

What if the courage you are searching for is already waiting beneath the layers of fear?

What if your true nature has never been broken?

The body may suffer.

The mind may fluctuate.

Relationships may change.

Circumstances may challenge us.

But the witnessing consciousness—the Self—remains untouched.

This understanding became my anchor during some of the most difficult days of my life.

I was not required to become stronger.

I simply had to discover the strength that was already present.

I was not required to create peace.

I simply had to stop searching for it outside myself.

I was not required to become whole.

I was required to recognize that wholeness was never absent.

And so, as I begin sharing the 100 reasons that helped me choose life again and again, I start with the one that transformed everything:

You are already that.

Not someday.

Not after healing.

Not after success.

Not after approval.

Not after suffering ends.

Now.

In this moment.

Exactly as you are.

The journey is not towards yourself.

The journey is into yourself.

And perhaps that is where all healing begins.

With lots of Gratitude to all my beloved ones who stood strong, loved crazyly, stretched helping hands.
-Asha